#Pride!!!

Probably all of you know me but for who doesn’t, you can call me Jackie and I am 21 years old. Well I know that I could talk about so many things… But this time I want to talk about something that is very important to me, actually I can say that it is more like a life experience. As we know, in June we could celebrate the Pride of LGBTQ+ community, and I can’t pretend  that it wasn’t on me. So I decided to talk about how it was to me… How I handled the situation, how my parents reacted when I came out. So I hope you enjoy it and feel as safe as I felt when I found out that I could be myself.

First of all, I have to say that it wasn’t easy for me to accept myself, I didn’t know what was happening to me, and because of it I passed through so many bad things, and so many frustrated relationships but to me it was okay, because I didn’t want to be like this, I didn’t want to be a shame to my family, friends and the rest of the entire world.

“I've been thinking about my life, and all of the mistakes that I've made. The ones that stay with me, the ones that I regret, are the ones that I made because of fear. For a long time, I was afraid to be who I am because I was taught [...] there's something wrong with someone like me. (Nomi Marks - Sense8)

After a long time denying who I am to myself, I decided to accept me like I am but of course without telling anyone, and then I met some friends, new friends that said “You are the way you are and I still love you”. The first step to feel safe and comfortable were my new friends, and then I thought “they really don’t care if I am like this or not, and they won’t judge me for who I am”. Then I met some people, got involved, and then  I thought I couldn’t keep hiding, hiding who I am anymore! I needed to be honest with who loves me and with myself.

One day I was having lunch with my mother at home, my brother was in his bedroom (pretending he was sleeping, because he heard everything) and then I was freaking out and SO nervous that all of my body was shaking… So when I was almost saying it, my mother looked at me with a face like “if you killed someone I’ll kill you” but she saw that I was nervous and relaxed and when I started talking, I couldn’t finish and then she completed the sentence like “Okay… you’re trying to tell me that you’re gay? That’s it?”  Because I was crying, afraid of being rejected by her… I looked at her and said  “Yeah that’s it”... That moment I can’t say what she was feeling, I was expecting something bad, I couldn’t move, I was in panic, and she came to me and gave a hug saying “I love you exactly the way you are, it’s your life, no one has nothing to do with it, and I will protect you forever”. I can say to you right now that in that moment I was crying like a baby, because I was happy and I felt safe… But okay it was my mother. I thought that my father  would be more difficult, but my mother talked to him (and she didn’t let me know), but anyway I would tell him.

So a few days after, my father came to me and started talking, and then I said to him, but again I was afraid of what he could say to me… And the only thing he said was “I’m your father, even knowing that I didn’t want it for you, I can’t change you, I don’t like it, but I respect, and I will protect you from the others because you are my daughter and I love you”. Well, this time I can say that my heart stopped to beat and I couldn’t breathe, then my father gave me a hug, too and then I felt like I was invincible, because I had their support.

I have the best parents in the world and when they accepted me I felt like “I can do whatever I want”. I know that sometimes people like me don’t have the same privilege like I do, having parents like I have that without questioning anything accepted me the way I am.

Even if you are or not from the LGBTQ+ community, we have to fight for rights because we are humans, we deserve respect and it is not some kind of disease that people can be infected, I am able to say that what needs to be held in this world is the homophobic people.

I’m telling this because I want to say that there is still hope, and I’m telling it because I won’t give up fighting for those people that can’t fight alone, even for those who had a tragic end for being who they were. As Nomi Marks, a transgender character from the TV series called Sense8s, “Today, I march to remember that I'm not just a me but I'm also a we. And we march with pride.”. So I say, we have to fight with pride!!!”

That’s all folks I hope you enjoyed it and thank you for letting me share my life experience with you!